How to be kind in natural spoken British English
When a foreigner speaks your native language, what does it sound like to you? Pragmatic? Friendly? Kind? We often start learning languages by focusing on practical things like ordering in a restaurant or giving directions. This can be useful, but since English is an international language for business and socializing (and because we now have GPS!) it makes sense to make genuine connections by mastering nuances such as how to be kind.
Did you know that kindness is a very natural British English trait? Helping a stranger lift a bag onto train, giving money to charity and donating blood, for example, happen every day. You may well know that a true gentleman opens doors for ladies, is patient and polite. But did you know there are phrases and expressions to go with this? The expressions to pair with acts of kindness are maybe less known than the behaviours themselves, so I have put these below for you.
Courtesy
Allow me = Expression used before you open a door for someone (semi formal)
Ladies first = (said by a male) Gentlemanly expression to let women go before him in a queue (neutral)
After you = Expression meaning you want the person you are speaking to to go before you in a queue
Gratitude
You shouldn’t have! = Expression used to thank someone for an unexpected gift (neutral)
Bless you! = Expression meaning I’m extremely grateful (informal)
Oh my goodness! = I can’t believe what just happened (neutral)
Oh my god! = I can’t believe what just happened (informal)
OMG = I can’t believe what happened (very informal, colloquial)
This is above and beyond! = You didn’t need to do this for me! I’m very grateful! (neutral)
Thinking of others
I saw this and thought of you = I got this gift especially because I knew you’d like it (neutral)
I’ve got this = I can pay the whole bill (neutral)
It’s on me = I’m planning to pay for all of this (informal)
I’ll get this round = I’ll buy everyone a drink. (Note: after this ‘round’ another person is expected to get the following ‘round’, as individuals in the group take it in turns to buy everyone a drink) (neutral)
You can crash at mine = (Said to a friend, no romantic connotation) you can sleep at my place (informal)
Patience
I’ve got all the time in the world = I’m happy to wait for a long time (informal)
No hurry = I can wait (neutral)
There’s plenty of time! = I’m not rushing you (neutral)
Polite requests
I don’t suppose you have the time? = Can you tell me the time? (semi formal)
Would you mind passing the salt? = Please could you pass the salt? (neutral)
Apologizing
I’m so sorry if I upset you. = I think I might have upset you, and I’m sorry (neutral)
I’m terribly sorry = I’m very sorry (semi formal)
Modesty
Oh, it’s nothing! = Don’t worry about it! (neutral)
It’s not a big deal = It’s nothing out of the ordinary (neutral)
I’ve got you a little something = I have a modest gift for you (neutral)
Do you use any of the phrases above when you want to show kindness to others? Or do you have your own personal favourites which aren’t on this list? It would be fascinating to know your experience and preferences, so do leave us a comment. We’re always keen to hear your thoughts here at PS English!
Take care,
Emma
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