Back to basics: how to greet somebody
Learning a foreign language is obviously about constantly pushing forward to learn ever more vocabulary and grammatical structures. But sometimes, it is good to review the basics – to check that your understanding and use of everyday expressions is correct and sensitive to the subtleties of language. In doing so, oftentimes missed nuances of everyday expressions can be identified and deeper learning take place.
In daily conversation in English, often “Hello” or “Good morning” and all the other variations of this greeting feels insufficient. Something is missing. In English-speaking cultures, “how are you?” is an extension of the greeting. It is not necessarily a genuine enquiry into somebody’s real well-being, although it can be.
Forgetting to add “how are you?” can therefore sound somewhat distant or cold to a native English speaker’s ear. Just by adding this phrase shows – unconsciously – to the listener that you are polite, keen to engage and understanding of the culture.
In this post, we shall look at some of the variations and subtleties of this common phrase and how you can achieve a greater communicative rapport in daily conversation. In the next post, we shall explore the possible way to answer this question in a truly meaningful way.
Usage of ‘How are you?’
When not to use it?
- When strangers pass each other by but acknowledge their presence. This can happen in rural areas on walking trails and such places.
- As a customer greeting a shop attendant. In recent decades, based on the influence of American notions of good customer service, it is becoming increasingly common for shop attendants to greet the customer and add ‘How are you?’. This is new. However, there is no real expectation to return the question or initiate the question in the first place. That is a personal choice.
- When being introduced to someone for the first time. Usually a greeting, plus ‘Nice to meet you’ is enough.
Perhaps you can identify a theme so far. Greeting strangers.
What about with people we know? There is perhaps one scenario where it’s not necessary:
- When you greet colleagues in the morning on a daily basis, it’s not essential to ask every single day. Perhaps on a Monday morning is enough.
When to say ‘How are you?’
Pretty much for every other occasion!
In other words, be prepared to use the phrase to everyone you know when greeting them after a short lapse in time, minimally a couple of days, as in example #4 above, where on Monday morning, there is a gap of 2 days since Friday, the previous working day.
The classic formula
Naturally, everybody knows the formulaic structure:
‘Hello. How are you?’
‘I’m fine, thank you.
……And you?’
Fundamentally, this dialogue is ok. Each individual element is well used in daily English conversation. It is the teaching of this dialogue as a set piece that may be misleading. Rarely will greetings be heard exactly in this way. Rather, it will be a pick ‘n’ mix of various alternatives. Let’s study those.
How are you?
Variations:
- How’s it going? (causal)
- You ok? (causal)
- (You) alright? (very casual) (British English)
If the gap since the last conversation is longer, say, more than a month, the nuance in meaning can shift towards something like “is your life ok?”
- How are you doing?
- How have you been?
- How are things? (casual)
- How’s life (with you)? when the gap is longer and it feels like a catch-up conversation
I’m fine, thank you.
Variations:
- (I’m) fine, thanks / thank you
- (I’m) good thanks (considered grammatically wrong by some, nonetheless extremely common)
- I’m well, thanks / thank you
- (I’m) good, thanks / thank you
With a slight negative nuance, but without requiring further follow-up:
- Not too bad, thanks
- Can’t complain, thanks.
Negative responses will be covered in the next post.
And you?
Variations:
- You?
- (and) how are you?
- You ok?
To summarise, ‘how are you?’ is generally acknowledged as an extension of a greeting to people we know. The expected response is just a simple statement that ‘life is ok’. So it might feel like a waste of time and maybe you are right! But choosing to omit it will make you sound unfriendly.
Obviously between close friends there are times when either the question is seeking a truly genuine answer or when the responder wants to answer truthfully – to say that life is actually not so good. We shall cover these instances in the next post.
Interested in learning more about British English?
As a school of English in London, we specialise in private lessons
– both face-to-face and online.
We offer a free consultation to all students. Please click here to book your free consultation.
If you are looking for a tailor-made private English lesson with flexibility and a high quality native English teacher, PS English can help you.
We look forward to hearing from you!